What's a Baby?
by AquaTitaniaMiyuki
Summary: When two innocent teens get very confused, hilarity(?) ensues. One-shot.


**Summary: When two innocent teens get very confused, hilarity(?) ensues. One-shot.**

**Genre: Humor**

**Rating: K+ **

**Main Character(s): Roxas, Xion **

**Setting: Destiny Islands, Sora's house. Post-KH3. **

**Pairings: Implied RokuShi.**

* * *

"Geez, you guys are such babies…" said Lea after opening a jar of pickles Xion and Roxas proclaimed that they could not open, and had whined about it for ten minutes until he gave in and helped them out.

Biggest mistake of his life.

The pickles were forgotten completely as soon as Xion looked up, "What's a baby?"

"Yeah," Roxas turned to him, "I've heard of them, but I don't know what they are."

Lea stiffened, _'Oh no. Oh nonono-'_ "UM…wh-when a man and woman love each other very much…a stork comes and gives them a baby!"

"But what _is_ a baby?" the blonde asked.

Xion followed, "And why does a stork go around giving people babies?"

"Okay, forget what I said about the stork! A baby is…the product of when…uhhh…uh, Riku will tell ya!" he exclaimed, running out of the room.

"Huh?" the mentioned silver-haired Keyblade Master walked in with a confused look on his face.

"What's a baby?" Roxas repeated the question, unfazed by his friend's sudden exit.

"What?!" Riku exclaimed, before going back from where he entered, "…I'm not explaining this."

"Riku, please?" Xion pleaded, grabbing his shirt to prevent him from leaving.

"No. Ask…" the silver-haired teen turned his head towards the kitchen, "Ask Ven instead."

Said blonde suddenly yelped at the attention, actually getting caught stealing from Sora's cookie jar. Nonetheless, he shoved a few cookies in his pocket before facing them with a somewhat forced smile, "Ask me what?"

Xion, still holding onto Riku's shirt, explained, "Riku won't tell us what a baby is!"

"Let go of me!"

Ven's smile fell off his face as he blinked, "A baby is…a little person. They're like…small, and cute and chubby. And they don't know how to do stuff 'cause they haven't learned anything yet."

"A little person?" Roxas questioned, "Like people who drink that stuff in Wonderland? Does that mean _I've_ been a baby before?"

"Huh? No, you haven't - I mean yes, you have!" Ven scrambled to explain it to them, "Wait…you're a Nobody. So no! But Sora's been a baby before, and at that time you were him, so…yes…?"

"Sora was really tiny?" Xion imagined, finally letting go of Riku, who ran out of the room like Axel had, "Did he just grow over time?"

Ven dug his nails in his hair, "No, no, no! That's not what I meant by little person! Babies are…are…like the size of this!" He held his hands out into the size of a pillow, "They're small people, but not _small_ people!"

"I don't get it."

"Me neither."

"Argh!" Ven yelled in frustration, leaving the kitchen, "Go ask Sora!"

Confused, the duo went to the living room, where they found the brunette playing Command Board (on the Destiny Islands board of course) against Kairi. Lea, who had been lounging on the couch after his escape, stiffened.

"Hey guys." Sora greeted without even looking up as he rolled two dice.

Out of nowhere, Lea said, "They wanna know what a baby is."

"B-Babies?!" Kairi sputtered.

The brunette did a double take, "Are you serious?!"

"Yeah!" Roxas replied, "Why is it so difficult to answer this one question? What's. A. Baby?!"

Kairi attempted to explain with the least amount of information as possible, "Umm…babies are born from parents! You know, Moms and Dads…because when a man and woman…they - um…!"

"When they love each other," Sora filled in, "The stork comes and-"

"I already told 'em that." Lea interrupted.

"Sora, Ven said you were a baby once," Xion recounted, "Is that true?"

"Well yeaaah…" he crossed his arms behind his head nervously, "Everyone starts out as babies. Except Nobodies. Unless a baby can lose their h-"

"So that means you were small, cute and chubby!?" Xion wondered in awe, trying to picture it.

"You'd better believe it!" Kairi laughed, "Sora was an adorable baby! At least in the pictures, that is!"

"Hey!" the Keyblade hero exclaimed, "You weren't supposed to see those!"

"Let us see them, Sora! We wanna know what babies look like!" Roxas demanded in honest truth.

_"No!"_ his red-faced other yelled, "Those are so embarrassing! I hid them for a reason!"

"I'll dive into your heart and find your memories of them!" the blonde Nobody threatened.

"I won't let you - wait a minute! I've got it!" Sora snapped his fingers, getting up and running to the door.

"Where are you going?" Kairi called after him.

"I'll be back in a sec!"

Lea muttered, "Wonder what he's up to…"

"Guys, we're gonna go buy some pizza." Ven announced from the stairs, counting some munny, as he strolled towards the door with Riku.

"Has the whole baby situation been resolved yet?" the silver-haired teen asked the room as he turned the doorknob.

_"Guys!"_

Just as Riku opened the door, Sora came running in excitedly, with a white bundle in his hands. Riku leaped back in surprise, barely missing what could've been a painful collision with his best friend. Instead, he crashed into Ven, sprawling them both out on the floor.

"Oww…"

"Roxas, Xion!" Sora called out, the commotion he created going unnoticed, "I want you to meet my neighbour's baby son!"

"You _took_ their baby?!" Riku cried out in shock as he gingerly rubbed his back side.

"Oh, come on, Riku! Of course I didn't _take_ him!" Sora defended himself, "Anyway, here!"

Without warning, he dropped the child into Roxas' arms, who almost stumbled back in surprise, "H-Hey! Sora! What am I supposed t - oh…"

Xion leaned in just in time to see the baby boy open his cobalt eyes and coo at them, clenching his tiny fists. The entire room instantly swooned at the little boy's soft gurgling.

"He's…he's so…" Xion's jaw dropped when she poked the child's cheek, "He's so _cute!_ **_Adorable!_** And chubby too! He's small but not small!"

"Told ya guys." Ven fondly stared at the child as Kairi helped him off the floor.

"So…this is a baby…" Roxas subconsciously held him closer, "It feels…_nice_."

"It feels wonderful!" Xion's eyes sparkled, and her hands clasped together, "Roxas…I want one."

Lea, who had been drinking a soda the whole time, instantly spat it out all over the floor. Ven and Sora looked completely mortified. Riku's jaw dropped, and he looked just about ready to run out of the room again. On the other hand, Kairi squealed, "Aww, you guys…now that's adorable!"

Oblivious to everything going on around him, Roxas nodded at Xion with a big smile on his face, "Me too."

Roxas and Xion both turned to their friends, "How do you _get_ a baby?"

Suddenly, the front door swung open again, revealing Terra and Aqua.

"Guys," Terra called out, "We got pizza!"

At that exact moment, everyone except Roxas, Xion and the baby bolted out of the livingroom.

Absolutely puzzled, Aqua asked them, "What just happened? And why do you two have a baby…?"

Xion stepped forward, equally confused, "Guys, how do you get a baby?"

_Much, much later…_

_"YOU PUT __**THAT**__ IN __**THERE**__?!"_

_"EWW! WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?!"_


End file.
